SEXUAL SINS OR NOT?
When talking about sex, things like marriage,
fornication, adultery, “consenting adults”, “friends with benefits”, “casual
sex”, “swinging”, homosexuality, bi-sexuality”, prostitution, zoophilia, rape,
incest, GSA (Genetic
Sexual Attraction), “avunculate marriage”,
sexbots, etc. come up.
This is not a scientific study on sex and
sexual relationships. We’ll look at general trends, behaviour of people in this
field, and gather info from various sources to get a general picture of what is
going on in the world of sexual relationships.
Sex according to the Bible:
Here I’ll refer to Kerby Anderson
summary:
God
created men and women in His image (Gen. 1:27) as sexual beings. But because of
sin in the world (Rom. 3:23), sex has been misused and abused (Rom. 1:24-25).
A
biblical perspective of human sexuality must recognize that sexual intercourse
is exclusively reserved for marriage for the following purposes. First, it
establishes the one-flesh union (Gen. 2:24-25; Matt. 19:4-6). Second, it
provides for sexual intimacy within the marriage bond. The use of the word
“know” indicates a profound meaning of sexual intercourse (Gen. 4:1). Third,
sexual intercourse is for the mutual pleasure of husband and wife (Prov.
5:18-19). Fourth, sexual intercourse is for procreation (Gen. 1:28).
Sex is very powerful and can be
compared to nuclear energy. Within certain specifications of containment it is
very useful, without the bounds of containment it is very dangerous en even
very destruct full and can cause disasters and lead to death
In the
upcoming “pages” we will look closer at the various types of sexual relations
for example fornication, adultery, prostitution, rape, homosexuality, pornography,
sexbots, necrophilia, etc.
These pages are mainly put together
from other sources, written by various people, on these matters. Credit is
given and sources are quoted.
SOME OF THE INFO MIGHT BE DISTRUBING TO SOME PEOPLE, BUT THE
PURPOSE IS TO PORTRAY WHAT GOING ON IN THE WORLD. JUST AS THE BIBLE ADDRESS
THESE THINGS DIRECTLY IN VARIOUS PLACES.
POLYAMORY/POLIGAMY/POLYANDRY
·
DEFINITION
·
GENERAL
·
POLYAMORY/POLIGAMY/POLYANDRY LAWS IN COUNTRIES
·
FILMS AND BOOKS
ON AND ABOUT POLYAMORY/POLIGAMY/POLYANDRY.
·
POLYAMORY
·
ACTIVISTS IN
LEGALISING POLYAMORY/POLIGAMY/POLYANDRY
·
POLYAMORY
IN THE NEWS
·
OTHER POLYAMORIES IN THE NEWS
·
SO CALLED
“LIBERATED CHRISTIANS”
·
POLYAMORY/POLIGAMY/POLYANDRY
THE BIBLE
·
CONCLUSION
·
WHAT IF YOU WERE/ARE INVOLVED?
DEFINITION OF
POLYAMORY/POLIGAMY/POLYANDY
POLYAMORY
is
usually not related to a religion and is unrelated to marriage, although some
polyamorous people are married or have participated in commitment ceremonies
with their partners. Polyamory means having multiple loving relationships,
usually, but not always sexual. Unlike polygamy, people in polyamorous
relationships stress the importance of open communication and equal
relationships between partners whether male or female. Usually all parties
involved know about the other partners and choose to be in those relationships. It
can be hetrosexual or homosexual or a combination of both. Polyamory generally emphasizes long-term
committed romantic relationships. Swinging generally focuses on casual sex
without commitment or romantic entanglement.
Polyamory The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.
This is the definition used by California polyamorist Morning Glory Zell, who coined the term in the early 1980's. Polyamory differs from adultery because all the partners know about each others' lovers, so there is not secrecy or betrayal.
Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many, several", and Latin amor,
"love") is the practice of or desire for
intimate
relationships
with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners. It has been
described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
POLYANDRY refers to one woman
with multiple husbands of which there are two types, husbands that are not related and
husbands that have to be of the same family.
POLIGAMY refers to the
practice of having more than one spouse
at the same time. Poligamy is the term for having multiple
spouses and is practiced in cultures worldwide. In the United States, TV shows
such as Big Love and Sister Wives have portrayed the
practice in Fundamentalist Mormonism. Fundamentalist Mormonism is a sect
or religion that follows the early Mormon teachings which allowed for polygamy.
It is also widely spread in Africa, among some Muslims, and other “primitive”
cultures
POLYGYNY - Where polygamy is the concept of more than one spouse at the same time, while, polygyny is an
example in which a man has more than one wife.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-polyamory-and-swinging
https://www.liveabout.com/what-is-the-difference-between-polyamory-and-polygamy-2171552
BIBLICAL
DEFINITION
POLYAMORY
– In
the bible there are no reference to this concept of people just in love
relationship and not in marriage.
POLYANDRY
– In
the bible there are no reference to this concept of women having more than one
husband.
POLIGAMY
– To
be found in the bible e.g. Jacob with two wives and two concubines, King
Solomon with many wives and many concubines, Abraham wife Sara and his wife’s
slave Hagar
POLYGYNY – To be found in
the bible e.g. King David.
But Monogamy was the standard in Scripture. God created Adam and Eve.
Noah, a righteous person had only one wife. And we see that monogamy is the
stand re-established in the NT e.g. Mark
chapter 10. Why God allowed POLYGYNY and POLIGAMY shall be discussed in a later section.
WHY ALL THIS INFORMATION IN THE BLOG? TO SHOW HOW WIDESPREAD THE PROBLEM
ARE. THE MAJORITY TEND TO IGNORE IT. BUT WE MUST FACE IT AND STAND AGAINST IT.
GENERAL
As metioned we’ll discuss POLYGYNY, POLIGAMY,
POLYANDRY, POLYAMORY in this blog. Where the first three mention are well
establish practises, POLYAMORE is a more ”modern” concept.
When
googled the following were obtained:
·
Polyamory - 2 960 000
results
·
Polygamy - 10 300 000
results
Showing
how many information there are available and how widespread it is.
As we've written before, the Western world
is in love with monogamy—in concept, if not in practice. Throughout history,
much of society has been predicated upon the idea of lifelong sexual fidelity
between one man and one woman. On paper anyway. We enforce monogamy in social
ways (don’t even try to bring your second wife to the office Christmas party!)
and legal ways (paternity laws, property laws, inheritance laws, etc.), but the
reality is far more complicated. While monogamy tends to hog the spotlight as
the relationship model of choice, non-monogamy has been around (and in some
cases thriving) for a very long time, and continues to be practiced today.
Here is just a small sliver of accepted forms of poly relationships,
both past and present.
1. Ancient Mesopotamia and Assyria
In Mesopotamia and Assyria, monogamy (particularly arranged marriage)
was considered the norm socially, but polygyny (when a man takes multiple
wives) was frequently practiced by rulers and layfolk (no pun intended) alike.
Philip II of Macedon had eight wives. Persian King Darius
III also had several wives and kept a stock of 360 royal concubines
“for his own personal use.” Plus, the Code of Hammurabi has rules on
polygyny, noting that a man can take a second wife if she can’t bear him
children. However! He cannot take another wife if his first wife offers him a
concubine slave instead. Take that, hubby! And though some scholars dispute it,
the historian Herodotus reported that every woman, at least once in her
lifetime, had to go to the temple of Ishtar and have sex with whatever stranger
happened to walk by and ask. This custom was thought to “ensure the fertility
and continued prosperity of the community.” But it wasn’t all concubines and
creepy-prostitution parties. In ancient Mesopotamia, “homosexual love could be
enjoyed” without stigma or fear, and there are even
texts that talk about pegging, or as historians call it, men “preferring to
take the female role” in sex.
2. Ancient and Present-Day Egypt
Ancient Egyptian men were free to marry as many women as they wanted
(i.e. as many as they could afford because indentured sexual servants don’t
come cheap, amirite?). And many African countries today, particularly
(but not limited to) those of a predominantly Muslim faith, still practice a
form of polygyny. And in Muslim Malaysia, Rawang has a Polygamy Club that
purports to have 300 husbands and 700 wives.
3. Ancient Greeks
Much ink (and other things) has been spilled documenting the ribaldry
and lust of ancient Greece, aka the birthplace of democracy and orgies. From
pederasty (sexual activity involving men and boys) to fellatio urns, the Greeks
were not shy about their sexytimes. Like many Western societies, the ancient
Greeks and Romans were monogamous on paper (men could not marry more than one
woman, for instance, nor could they live with their concubines), but not so
much in practice, particularly if you were a man. "The Greeks were
anything but prudes," Nicholaos Stampolidis, director of the Museum of
Cycladic Art, told the Guardian. "Theirs was a
society of great tolerance and lack of guilt." The Greeks were
particularly tolerant of bisexuality among men, at least in certain situations
(bathhouses, school, war). The philosopher Aristophanes wasn’t wild about this,
however, so he coined the term euryprôktoi, meaning "wide asses,"
which referred to the homosexual relationships between older and younger
soldiers ("to increase loyalty during war time," Greece's PR person tells us). It sounds like
Aristophanes could’ve benefitted from some ass-widening himself.
4. Non-monogamy in the Bible
Modern-day Christianity often advocates for “traditional marriage,” but
the Good Book is full of instances where monogamy was definitely not de rigeur
(multiple wives was big, and also prostitution, concubines, etc., not to
mention a lot of other kinky stuff). The first
reference to polygamy is in Genesis: “Lamech married two women.” In the
Old Testament, several prominent characters were polygamists. To name a few:
Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon. In 2 Samuel 12:8, God told David that
if he wasn’t satisfied with his many wives and concubines, he could always have
more. And Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, according to 1 Kings 11:3. Like we always say,
traditional marriage is between one man and 1,000 women. To be discussed
later
5. Hinduism
Though it’s outlawed today, theRig Veda (as well as epics
like the Mahabharata) mention that during the Vedic period, a man could have
more than one wife, depending on one’s caste. If one was Brahmin (the highest
ranking caste), one could have four wives. It goes down a wife for each subsequent
caste system, with the Shudra caste only getting one extra wife.
6. Polyandry in Nepal
But enough about polygyny! Let’s talk polyandry (one wife, many
husbands). The practice of fraternal polyandry, a woman taking several brothers
as husbands, was once very common in Nepal, where “the rough landscape often requires
more than one set of extra hands to cultivate.” Who couldn’t use an extra set
of hands when tilling your wife’s fields? The practice is falling out of
fashion today, due to religious influence, and job opportunities not dependent
on farming, but local farmers attest that “monogamous marriages are financially
more difficult.”
7. “Walking marriages” in China
In the Yunnan province of China, the Mosuo ethnic group has what’s
called zou hun (walking marriage), which is basically
the freedom to have sex with whomever you want. The Mosuo don’t have marriage
the way Western countries do—couples don’t live together; women usually stay
with their families; and men “share responsibility for any children born to
women in their own family.” And, if a man is sexually interested in a woman, he
asks if he can visit her, usually after dark. Sex is based on mutual affection
and is not stigmatized.
LAWS IN
COUNTRIES
The legality of polygamy varies widely around the world. Polygamy is legal in 58 out of nearly 200 sovereign states, the vast majority of them being Muslim-majority countries situated in Africa and Asia. In most of these states, polygyny is allowed and legally sanctioned. Polyandry is illegal in virtually every state in the world. The rest of the sovereign states do not recognize polygamous marriages.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_polygamy
POLYANDRY
(More than one husband) is illegal in virtually every state of the world.
POLYGYNY (Married to more
than one woman – wives with equal status) is the only
form permitted.
·
In
Nigeria and South Africa, polygamous marriages under customary law and for
Muslims are legally recognized.
·
In
Mauritius, polygamous unions have no legal recognition. Muslim men may,
however, "marry" up to four women, but they do not have the legal
status of wives.
Polygamy in South
Africa (From Wikipedia,
the free encyclopedia)
Polygamy is legal under certain
circumstances in South Africa. All polygamous marriages entered into in
accordance with the provisions of the Recognition of
Customary Marriages Act are legal. The husband in an existing
customary marriage wishing to marry a second wife must apply to a competent
court for such a marriage to be legal. Hence President Jacob Zuma currently has
4 legally recognised wives. The court considers the interests of all parties to
the marriage and may add whatever conditions the court deems just for the
polygamous marriage to be valid under customary law. Polygamous marriages are
not allowed under the Marriage Act and the Civil Unions Act.
A person married under the Civil
Union Act which allows same-sex couples to marry, may not enter into marriage
with a 2nd partner until the existing marriage is dissolved. Therefore only
heterosexual men are allowed to marry more than one spouse at the same time.
South African traditionalists have
been well known to practice polygamy and the topic has been a serious political
issue in the past several years, especially in the 2009 elections.
Many of the indigenous Bantu peoples, both Christians
and Indigenous, are polygamous and Islamic
South Africans such as the Cape Malays, Cape
Coloureds and Indian South Africans who are
Muslim also allow for polygamy.
Jacob
Zuma, the current president of South Africa, is a self-proclaimed
polygamist. He has been married five times, and is currently married to four
different women. He has reportedly fathered 20 children among his wives and
mistresses
In
some countries polygamy are illegal due to laws against bigamy. Bigamy laws throughout the United
States vary from Misdemeanour or Felony charges. Some states all forms
of cohabitation outlawed. But with current changes in morality laws are changed
or not enforced.
FILMS AND BOOKS
ON AND ABOUT POLYAMORY/POLIGAMY/POLYANDY.
POLYAMORY
As said will discuss polyamore
separately as there is generally no legislation against it. In some countries it is prosecuted under laws
against fornication and adultery.
Polyamory (more than one + love) are growing rapidly in the western
world.
Polyamory, or consensual non-monogamy as it’s sometimes called, has been growing
and gaining acceptance as a viable relationship model in the last few decades,
with countless books and scholarly papers written on the topic, as well as
scientific research, and perhaps unsurprisingly, reality TV shows. Polyamory
exists all over, not just in liberal urban meccas. A 2009 Newsweek article estimated that “in the United
States, over half a million families [are] openly living in relationships that
are between multiple consenting partners."
The Influx of Young People
Identifying as Polyamorous
The number of people who
call themselves polyamorous or say they have an open relationship is on the
rise. The media is in a frenzy and local groups are growing like crazy in areas
that two years ago had little to no groups or at least little activity. This
growth appears to be driven by the twenty something crowd. This is not to say
polyamory is not growing among the older generations as well, it is but the
biggest influx is people under thirty. We are thrilled to see the
interest and exploration growing for so many people and especially to see
people in their early twenties exploring open relationships, poly and many
other alternative sexual and relationship choices.
POLYAMORE ACTIVISTS
Speaking
to Vice, polyamorist Melissa Marie Legge said she always knew she
was different.
“Consensual non-monogamy gives me the freedom to involve people in my
life on my own terms and to negotiate relationships individually and
contextually without having to follow a social script,” she said. “It’s
something that I value highly and that I would say is a big part of my sexual
identity overall.”
In the US, around 500,000 people are believed to be in polyamory
relationships, according to Newsweek.
Across the border, the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association, which
calls for the rights of the “Poly Majority,” says the community has “custom-made”
relationships.
“We believe every adult should create her own relationships,” the
group says on their website.
“No loving, life-enhancing possibility is out of bounds. That means women
or men can have more than one partner… if everybody involved agrees it’s best
for them. That’s not empty theory; we live all gender combinations.”
There are a number of individuals
who are activists working on behalf of polyamory. On the educational side,
there are activists like Ken Haslam who endowed a polyamory
collection at the Kinsey Institute and
has coined terms like swolly to describe the overlap between swinging and
polyamory, and polygeezers to describer older polys like himself. Jim
Fleckenstein, an
independent researcher and educator, presents at conferences and publishes in
academic journals on a range of issues relevant to polyamory. Alan M. at Polyamory
in the Media collects
references to polyamory in popular culture.
Another group of activists is more
practical and focuses on building skills among poly people and outreach to the
general public. These include people like Dawn
Davidson at Love
Outside the Box, Sarah
Taub and Michael Rios
at the Center for New Culture, and Anita Wagner Illig with Practical Polyamory.
A loosely knit group of activists,
the Polyamory Leadership Network is not exactly an organization in that it
does not have much structure or officers. It provides a forum for communication
among people “working to advance public awareness of polyamory … as a valid and
positive relationship choice for some people [and] to educate the public and
build skills and resources within the growing worldwide poly community itself.”
Organizations Focused on
Polyamory
Since 1994, Loving More has published a magazine, maintained
a website, and organized several yearly conventions for people in poly
relationships. Currently headed up by Robyn Trask, Loving More provides
education, advocacy, and community connections surrounding polyamory.
The Polyamory Society sponsors the PolyFamily
Advocacy Division, which aims
to: “support, assist and strengthen PolyFamilies of all forms and cultures
with effective programs, services, information and resources in a spirit of
responsibility and advocacy. To assist PolyFamilies in our community with
issues and problems that confront them from infancy to old age, and from
relationship(s) formation to dissolution through death or divorce.”
Based in Victoria, British
Columbia, the Canadian
Polyamory Advocacy Organization “advocates
on behalf of Canadians who practice polyamory. It promotes legal, social, government,
and institutional acceptance and support of polyamory, and advances the
interests of the Canadian polyamorous community generally.
The Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory
Awareness attempts to:”
serve the Unitarian Universalist Association and the community of polyamorous
people within and outside the UUA by providing support, promoting education,
and encouraging spiritual
wholeness regarding polyamory.”
In addition to the organizations
listed above that are specifically dedicated to polyamory, there are a number
of foundations, associations, and alliances dedicated to serving sex and gender
minorities like kinksters, gays and lesbians, and polyamorists or others in
consensually non-monogamous relationships.
The Woodhull
Freedom Foundation aims
to advance the recognition of sexual, gender, and family diversity. Uniting a
range of sexual identities and practices, Woodhull affirms sexual
freedom as a fundamental human right.
The National Coalition for
Sexual Freedom has an
extensive resource library with activist resources and
information about consensual non-monogamy and BDSM.
The Sexual Freedom Legal Defense and
Education Fund opposes
restrictive sexual practices such as: governmental interference in consensual
sexual expression between and among adults; interference in custody of children
solely on the basis of parents’
private sexual expression; and criminal
prosecution for consensual sexual acts. Under the direction of Executive
Director Valerie White, the SFLDEF works to assist sexual minorities embroiled
in legal cases with funding for legal fees, referrals to attorneys and expert
witnesses, and information and education about alternative sexual expression.
The Polyamory
On Purpose series aims to
“talk about the practical side of polyamory and how you can plan to deal with
all of the fun, insane, wonderful hassles of day-to-day in a polyamorous
relationship.”
Based in Atlanta, Georgia, the Relationship
Equality Foundation provides
“outreach, education, and support for those involved in or seeking
relationships with non-traditional structures, and education and outreach to
the general public about these relationships.” REF does this with continuing education events for
counselors, social workers, and therapists and conventions for polyamorists and
their families like the Atlanta Poly Weekend.
A research and advocacy
organization focused on education, the Community Alliance for Academic Research
on Alternative Sexualities
(CARAS) provides “support
and promotion of excellence in the study of alternative sexualities and the
dissemination of research to the alternative sexuality communities, the public,
and the research community.”
POLYAMORY IN THE NEWS
There are two
forms of polygamy.
One of them is when a man marries more than one wife, which is polygyny, and the other being polyandry which is when
a woman has more than one husband.
Now we are counting down the top 10 families that are famous of
their polyamorous relationships.
10. Gay Three-Way Marriage
A trio of gay men named Joke, Bell, and Art tied the knot in Thani Province, Thailand on Valentine's Day 2015.
Joke and Art had originally been dating when they met Bell at a
party.The three fell in love and when Bell was hospitalized with an
unnamed disease, they decided they would marry.
Since Thailand doesn't allow same-sex marriages, they held a
symbolic Buddhist ceremony and claimed to be the world's first gay married
threesome.
9.
Twins Date One Man, Get Surgery To Look More Alike
There's not a lot of sleeping going on at night Perth residents
Anna and Lucy DeCinque are identical twins that share everything their job,
their car, and even their boy toy, Ben Byrne.
They also wanted to look more alike and have shelled out over
$240,000 for surgery including lip fillers and breast implants.
The threesome live upstairs from the twins' mum and from what
gather from the reports must make quite a bit of noise during the night.
8.
Man With 2 Women, 1 Baby Each
Melinda and Dani Phoenix were a lesbian couple living in
California who decided they wanted a man in their lives.
A couple of months later, they met Jonathan Stein in a building
class and both quickly fell for him. They confessed in a romantic letter that they wanted him to join
them in their relationship.
Jonathan naturally said yes, and was soon living with the pair,
impregnating both within a very short period of time.
7.
Los Angeles “Throuple” Seeks Fourth
Adam Lyons, a former nerd turned pickup artist, may be the envy
of his London schoolmates who once voted him “least likely to have a
girlfriend.”
Adam is now in a “throuple” with Brooke Shedd and Jane
Shalakova; Brooke recently gave birth to a son named Dant and has another son,
Oliver, from a previous relationship.
The five of them live under one roof and are open to the
possibility of adding another partner to make it a... fourple?
6.
Lesbian Throuple Have Baby
Kitten, Brynn, and Doll Young are an all-female throuple who had
a 3-way ceremony in Massachusetts in 2013.
The brides all wore white, and while they are not legally
married to each other, they did have a lawyer work up a contract between them.
Kitten was reported pregnant by an unknown sperm donor the next
year.
5.
Billy, Jeremy, and Melissa Host Poly Weekend
Billy and Melissa Holder were a couple experimenting with an
open relationship, when Billy met Jeremy Mullins.
He wasn't sexually attracted to Jeremy, but says he found
“emotional intimacy” with him. Melissa bonded with Jeremy too, and he
eventually moved in with them.
They've become very active in promoting positive connotations of
polyamorous couples and host an annual Poly Weekend every year in Atlanta.
4.
Five Couples, Four People
Here's the story//of a group of polys… Charlie (a woman) and Tom
are married, but one year into their relationship he fell in love with Sarah.
Sarah, however, was in her own relationship with Chris (a man).
At first Chris was uncomfortable that his wife was seeing Tom, but he and Tom
became friends, and then Chris fell in love with Charlie.
Then Charlie and Sarah fell in love The 5-way fourple live in
Sheffield, England and plan to grow old together.
Their family was the inspiration for the series Big Love, on HBO, and
they appeared on the show Sister Wives as well.
The scandal with the FLDS leader Warren Jeffs, prosecution and discovery
of sexual abuse of minors within this sect really shook the public and the
perception of polygamous communities.
2. Sister Wives – Browns Family
The Brown family became famous when the TV show Sister Wives started
broadcasting on TLC, in 2010.
It is reality show that follows the life of a polygamous family living
in Utah, where the husband has four wives and 17 children.
Kodi and his wives were stating that they started doing the show with a
wish to fight social prejudices and raise the awareness of the public about
polygamous families.
1. The Biggest Family in The World
Ziona Chana is living in India with his 39 wives, 94 children, 14
daughters-in-law, and 33 grandchildren.
The biggest house in the village is theirs, with 100 rooms. In 1942,
Ziona Chana formed the Christian sect that allows the members to take as many
wives as they want.
With such a big family Ziona feels blessed, and he says that the family
gets along really well, treating each other with respect and love.
What's more, He stated to the media that he’s
still looking for his next wife..
OTHER POLYAMORY PICTURES
OTHER
POLYAMORIES IN THE NEWS
Relationship coach Dr. Anya Trahan, who runs Purple Mornings Reiki in
Bowling Green, Ohio, says she was recently fired from two jobs for coming out
poly with her book Opening
Love: Intentional Relationships & the Evolution of Consciousness.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.co.za/2015/08/
My introduction to the concept of polyamory, or Polyamory 101 as I like
to think of it, occurred a few months ago when I was walking with a friend
across Harvard Yard. My friend, who's in her late 20s, mentioned that she
engages in polyamorous relationships.
For a second, I thought: A poly-who? Then, my knowledge of Greek and Latin kicked in and helped me divine the word's meaning. Still, I didn't know it was a thing. Or, maybe I should say, a new thing.
A polyamorous relationship is one in which consenting adults openly have several deeply intimate, monogamous-like relationships, but without exclusivity. It may, as my friend described, include sex. It may not.
For a second, I thought: A poly-who? Then, my knowledge of Greek and Latin kicked in and helped me divine the word's meaning. Still, I didn't know it was a thing. Or, maybe I should say, a new thing.
A polyamorous relationship is one in which consenting adults openly have several deeply intimate, monogamous-like relationships, but without exclusivity. It may, as my friend described, include sex. It may not.
Dawn M. Turner
DEBORAH
TAJ ANAPOL, 1951 - 2015
Deborah Taj Anapol (1951–2015) was an American clinical
psychologist and one
of the founders of the polyamory movement, which started in the 1980s. Known for
her work in erotic spirituality, ecosex, neotantra and Pelvic-Heart Integration, she was an advocate for
multiple love and sacred sexuality. Her work made early use of the Internet to
gather and organize like-minded people. She was also the co-founder of the
magazine Loving More and its conferences. She wrote one of the first
books on polyamory, Love Without Limits (1992); which was expanded and
reissued as Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits, in 1997. An expert
columnist for Psychology
Today, she
blogged at "Love Without Limits, Reports from the relationship
frontier."
Anapol was a pioneer in opening the way for diversity of
form in healthy relationships, and received the "Vicki" Award from
the Woodhull Freedom Foundation for her work affirming sexual freedom as a
fundamental human rights.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deborah_Anapol
| Deborah Anapol, known as Taj. (Photo
courtesy Becca Tzigany) |
LOUISA
LEONTIADES
When
Louisa Leontiades’ marriage hit the rocks, she chose an unusual way to make
things better, writes Carol Midgley
Louisa Leontiades lives in an open
relationship with her boyfriend Gösta Hulden, left, (with their daughter) and
her long-term boyfriend, Christian Heidarson, right
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/the-polyamorists-diary-why-i-agreed-to-a-menage-a-quatre-78rsws5knpt
LOUISA LEONTIADES
JOSH, SARAH, ALYSSA AND
MARY ASHLEY
The
vast majority would not support the thought that their partner is also seen
with other people, but this is by no means the case of the next group of
lovers. Americans Josh, Sarah, Alyssa and Mary Ashley form a
"polyphamily".
It all
started when Josh and Sarah formed a couple. The two had an open relationship
since then, with other partners.
"I
went out to meet with girls and so I met Alyssa. She liked both of us from the
beginning, and the relationship evolved naturally, " Josh explained for the OpenMinded matrimonial site,
according to Daily Mail .
Elisabeth is the foremost academic and legal expert on polyamorous families with children. Author of The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families (2013, Rowman and Littlefield), With a Ph.D. in Sociology, 15 years of teaching and research experience at three major US universities, and certifications as a Court Appointed Special Advocate (Fulton County, Georgia) and a Sexuality Educator (AASECT)
DR ELISABETH SHEFF
http://www.kamaladevi.com/photos#.WbZ56zGQzcs
Robyn L Trask
JENNIFER KING
| Love
the Ones You’re With |
Pali
Paths supports “polyamorous” relationships for people who want intimacy with
more than one person — at the same time.
JENNIFER KING April 29, 1998
|
JENNIFER
KING
|
Get Ready for the Polyamory Movement August 22, 2016 by Erin Wathen
Guest post, by Katherine Willis
Pershey.
Me, my wife and my live-in girlfriend: Polyamorous couple on sharing their bed with another woman - and how it benefits their six-year-old son
- Kamala Devi and Michael McClure, aged 38 and 49
respectively, have been married for 12 years but swore off monogamy from
the start
- Six months ago they welcomed 27-year-old bisexual Rachel Rickards into their home in San Diego, California married couple who identify as polyamorists have opened up about their unconventional relationship, revealing how an active sex life boosts their mood and keeps them fit.
Kamala Devi and Michael McClure, aged 38 and 49
respectively, swore off monogamy from day one. They have up to a dozen
different lovers each - some to themselves and some who they share.
Six months ago they welcomed 27-year-old bisexual Rachel
Rickards into their home in San Diego, California, and now the three of them
enjoy each other's company - and bodies.
Kamala Devi (right) and
Michael McClure (center), aged 38 and 49 respectively, have been married for 12
years but they both swore off monogamy - six months ago they welcomed
27-year-old bisexual Rachel Rickards (left) into their home"
Kamala Devi Michael McClure Rickards
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2513813/Polyamorous-couple-sharing-bed-woman.html#ixzz4sNMpghC7
MANUEL BERMUDEZ, VICTOR HUGO PRADA AND ALEJANDRO
RODRIGUEZ
Manuel Bermudez, Victor Hugo Prada and Alejandro Rodriguez have
become the first trio to wed in a legally recognised same-sex marriage in
Colombia (Picture: CEN)
Three men have made history by becoming the first trio to
wed in a same-sex ceremony in Colombia.
Manuel Bermudez, Victor Hugo Prada and Alejandro Rodriguez
tied the knot in a romantic ceremony on Saturday in the city of Medellin, in
the north-western Colombian department of Antioquia.
Three people are legally allowed to marry each other in
Colombia, where it is known as a ‘trieja’ – a word derived from two others:
trio and pareja: trio and couple.
The trio became the first same-sex trio to tie the knot
after spending years in love.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/06/14/three-men-marry-in-first-legally-recognised-polyamorous-wedding-6708801/#ixzz4sNNjLW3O
Kris Riek, Pete Benson, and Deborah Benson
Kristin (Kris), Pete, and Deborah are a
polyamorous triad. Polyamory (called “poly” for short) describes relationships
in which there are more than two partners or participants. Unlike swingers
whose lifestyles thrive on casual sexual encounters, and polygamists who marry
more than one person for religious or spiritual reasons, polyamorists see their
relationships as a nurturing emotional connectedness between people.
The partners are like any couple trying
to make their relationship work. Fulfilling the needs of three people is a
demanding balancing act. But at least for now, the triad has resolved the issue
of “musical beds.”
http://www.fluxstories.com/2013/03/loving-more-a-portrait-of-polyamory/
ADAM
LYONS LIVES WITH BROOKE SHEDD AND JANE SHALAKHOVA
Short version of this new one: Adam was a lonely nerd, took pickup
artist lessons, got so good at it that he set up shop as a dating coach,
married "Alexandra," they moved to Texas, the marriage hit the rocks,
they tried going poly to save the marriage, that worked until it didn't, and
they broke up. Adam paired up with Brooke, they went on a unicorn hunt — and
found one. Adam, Brooke and Jane have been happy ever after (we're given to
believe) and are raising two kids in L.A.
Dating coach Adam Lyons lives with
Brooke Shedd and Jane Shalakhova in a polyamorous relationship
SO CALLED “LIBERATED CHRISTIANS”
Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
COPYRIGHTED 1999 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED - MAY BE REPRINTED OR QUOTED FROM ONLY IF CREDIT IS GIVEN LIBERATED CHRISTIANS, MAILING ADDRESS IS SHOWN AND WE ARE SENT A COPY OF PUBLICATION.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: This statement will show that Liberated
Christians' views are not to be identified with Mormonism or the beliefs and
practices of "Christian polygamists" groups which have been recently
profiled by the media. Recent news stories have mentioned Liberated Christians
along with these groups. This statement will also show that, strictly speaking,
our views are not to be too closely identified with the patriarchal polygamy of
the Old Testament Hebrews.)
Recent media attention has been paid to fundamentalist Mormon sects and families which continue to practice polygamy and also to certain groups which describe themselves as non-Mormon "Christian polygamists."
In light of these developments, we feel it is
important to make a statement which summarizes our beliefs and distinguishes
them from the beliefs of these recently publicized groups.
This statement does not contain biblical quotes to
document or describe our beliefs. Various materials on this web site deal in a
more detailed fashion with these beliefs and the relevant biblical material.
EVIDENCE
FROM THE BIBLICAL RECORD
We believe that the idea of multiple sexual partners is in no way prohibited by the teachings of the Hebrew or Christian scriptures.
We believe that the idea of multiple sexual partners is in no way prohibited by the teachings of the Hebrew or Christian scriptures.
The ancient Hebrews, as portrayed in the Old
Testament, clearly believed in multiple partnerships and this practice is nowhere
condemned by God.
When the New Testament scriptures are viewed as a
whole, taking into account the cultural context in which they were written, it
is clear that neither Jesus nor the writers of the New Testament condemned such
practice, although it appears that polygamy had, for non-religious reasons,
substantially declined within Jewish culture by the time of Christ.
Despite this biblical evidence, the Christian church
has persistently opposed polygamous relationships and has, at times, actively
persecuted families which chose to practice this lifestyle. The church has also
used twisted interpretations of various scriptures in defense of its opposition
to this lifestyle.
A
STARTING POINT FOR MULTIPLE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
It is our view that God's evident acceptance of the type of polygamy that existed among the Hebrews is a starting point for discussing and developing modern views on multiple intimate relationships. However, it is important to notice certain characteristics of that form of polygamy which we believe are deficient in light of the perspectives of Jesus and the character of the New Covenant in Christ that we find in the New Testament scriptures.
It is our view that God's evident acceptance of the type of polygamy that existed among the Hebrews is a starting point for discussing and developing modern views on multiple intimate relationships. However, it is important to notice certain characteristics of that form of polygamy which we believe are deficient in light of the perspectives of Jesus and the character of the New Covenant in Christ that we find in the New Testament scriptures.
The practice of POLYGAMY among the Hebrews was,
technically, the practice of POLYGYNY, i.e., the idea of one man having
multiple wives. In the Hebrew culture and many others throughout history,
polygyny was connected with a strong PATRIARCHAL structure in which wives were
viewed as PHYSICAL PROPERTY of their husbands. This structure, shared with
other Near Eastern peoples who were contemporaries of the Hebrews, severely
restricted the rights and freedoms of women, even though certain protections
for them were built into the laws
regulating marital and family life.
A NEW
BEGINNING FOR MULTIPLE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
While we view God's acceptance of this form of polygamy under the OLD COVENANT (God's relationship with the Hebrews) as indicating his approval of multiple relationships, we believe that under the NEW COVENANT (God's relationship with both Jews and Gentiles through Jesus the Messiah) it was God's intention to modify the patriarchal system in order to give greater equality to women. We believe that substantial hints of a new order of respect and freedom for women may be discerned in Jesus' relationship with women and their prominence in the ministry of the apostles and the earliest Christian church. We see no reason why this new freedom should not apply to relationship styles, as well as other aspects of spiritual life.
While we view God's acceptance of this form of polygamy under the OLD COVENANT (God's relationship with the Hebrews) as indicating his approval of multiple relationships, we believe that under the NEW COVENANT (God's relationship with both Jews and Gentiles through Jesus the Messiah) it was God's intention to modify the patriarchal system in order to give greater equality to women. We believe that substantial hints of a new order of respect and freedom for women may be discerned in Jesus' relationship with women and their prominence in the ministry of the apostles and the earliest Christian church. We see no reason why this new freedom should not apply to relationship styles, as well as other aspects of spiritual life.
Thus, our views of multiple relationships are based
on a greater freedom of BOTH sexes to relate intimately to partners of their
choice. This means that women may have multiple partners, as well as men.
(Technically, this form of polygamy is called POLYANDRY.) Regardless of the
form, these partners are not to be treated possessively and jealously as
property, but set free to share themselves, in Christian love, with others, as
they choose.
In some of the material on our web site it will be
noticed that we appeal to the practice of the Old Testament Hebrews as support
for our views. We continue to grow in our understanding of the message of the
New Testament regarding love, freedom and a better perspective on the role of
women in the family and church. As we do, we are relying more upon these New
Testament ideas as a foundation for our views of multiple relationships than on
the concepts found in the Hebrew scriptures.
"POLYAMORY"-A
NEW TERM FOR A NEW BEGINNING
The modern term, POLYAMORY (a Greek and Latin hybrid meaning "more loves" or "loving more than one"), was coined a number of years ago as an alternative to "responsible non-monogamy," a rather cumbersome term that was current among those who believed in multiple relationships. In Liberated Christians we also use this term for two additional purposes: to indicate that the relationships we advocate should be founded on principles of Christian love and as a way of distinguishing those relationships from patriarchal polygamy.
The modern term, POLYAMORY (a Greek and Latin hybrid meaning "more loves" or "loving more than one"), was coined a number of years ago as an alternative to "responsible non-monogamy," a rather cumbersome term that was current among those who believed in multiple relationships. In Liberated Christians we also use this term for two additional purposes: to indicate that the relationships we advocate should be founded on principles of Christian love and as a way of distinguishing those relationships from patriarchal polygamy.
OUR VIEWS
AND THOSE OF MODERN "POLYGAMISTS"
In light of the preceding statements, it should be clear that our views of Christian polyamory are not compatible with those of patriarchal Mormonism. In addition, Mormons once practiced polygamy in obedience to unique doctrinal beliefs, compatible with their patriarchal religion, which relate to heavenly rewards for Mormon males. Although polygamy was formally renounced by the Mormon Church more than a hundred years ago, some Mormons still practice the lifestyle, many organized into fundamentalist sects. It is important to stress that our views of polyamory have no such doctrinal connections.
In light of the preceding statements, it should be clear that our views of Christian polyamory are not compatible with those of patriarchal Mormonism. In addition, Mormons once practiced polygamy in obedience to unique doctrinal beliefs, compatible with their patriarchal religion, which relate to heavenly rewards for Mormon males. Although polygamy was formally renounced by the Mormon Church more than a hundred years ago, some Mormons still practice the lifestyle, many organized into fundamentalist sects. It is important to stress that our views of polyamory have no such doctrinal connections.
Nor is Liberated Christians to be confused with
certain contemporary "Christian polygamy" movements, which are
clearly patriarchal in nature, even though they are not Mormon in doctrine.
Some of these groups have recently set up shop in isolated areas of Utah and
other western states, where they believe they will, like their Mormon
"cousins," be able to escape notice. They have, however, been discovered
by the media, which has produced numerous newspaper, magazine and TV
news-magazine reports on their beliefs and practices.
Typical of the sound-bite culture of modern
journalism, which seems to neglect thorough research under the pressure of
beating competing news organizations to sensational stories, some recent news
stories have lumped Liberated Christians in with both the Mormon sects and the
newly-noticed "Christian polygamists." It is important to us that we
distance ourselves from these groups.
WHAT WE
ARE AND WHAT WE AREN'T
In addition to distinguishing ourselves from the groups mentioned above, it is important to note that Liberated Christians is neither a church nor a cult. We do not advocate that Christians who share our views separate themselves from their churches or isolate themselves in cult-like groups. However, we do recognize that Christians who believe as we do may wish to find fellowship with others of like mind. We encourage them to do that and try to facilitate it through certain divisions of our web site and through personal contacts.
In addition to distinguishing ourselves from the groups mentioned above, it is important to note that Liberated Christians is neither a church nor a cult. We do not advocate that Christians who share our views separate themselves from their churches or isolate themselves in cult-like groups. However, we do recognize that Christians who believe as we do may wish to find fellowship with others of like mind. We encourage them to do that and try to facilitate it through certain divisions of our web site and through personal contacts.
We in no way advocate or support individuals who
wish to cheat on their spouses by establishing intimate relationships without
their partner's knowledge and consent. In this sense, the old term
"responsible non-monogamy" or the term "consensual
non-monogamy" is a valid watchword within our circle. We believe that a
true, loving polyamory can only exist when all partners are in agreement
concerning the relationships.
We are primarily an information source for Christians
who are interested in exploring their natural tendency toward multiple
relationships and provide biblical study material supporting their interests.
We have no formal membership. We do not sell
anything except for packets of printed material for those who do not have
access to our Internet web site and a few video tapes related to the poly
lifestyle. We also offer Sybian machines for women at a discounted price and we
receive a small referral fee from the distribututor to help defray our costs.
Liberated Christians is a registered non-profit
(though not tax-exempt) entity, almost the entire financial support of which
comes from the personal funds of the founders, who earn their living through
ordinary occupations. The founders, far from getting rich through Liberated
Christians, are, in fact, substantially poorer for their efforts. This is a
labor of love, not of profit. We are, however, grateful for supporters who
occasionally contribute to the ministry.
HOW WE
VIEW THE BIBLE
The founders of Liberated Christians accept the Bible as our teaching source regarding our relationships with God and others and in that sense we might even be considered "conservative" Christians. We simply believe that the central biblical principle of loving God and loving neighbor may legitimately cover the practice of multiple intimate or sexual relationships. We believe that the tendency towards multiple relationships is a normal human tendency, not the product of sin.
The founders of Liberated Christians accept the Bible as our teaching source regarding our relationships with God and others and in that sense we might even be considered "conservative" Christians. We simply believe that the central biblical principle of loving God and loving neighbor may legitimately cover the practice of multiple intimate or sexual relationships. We believe that the tendency towards multiple relationships is a normal human tendency, not the product of sin.
We also believe that the Bible, especially the New
Testament, does not teach the repressive, legalistic style of life and
spirituality that has tended to characterize traditional Christianity and which
stifles personal liberty in all areas of life, including the realm of sexuality
and intimate relationships. In addition to advocating a liberated sexuality
(which is not, by the way, the kind of "licentiousness" of which we
are accused by our critics), we believe in a larger freedom to live our total
lives under the "rule" of love that is possible if the Bible and the
gospel of Christ are taken seriously.
WHO ARE
THE PEOPLE WHO SHARE OUR VIEWS?
Many of them are mainstream, evangelical Christians, including pastors and their wives, church elders and Sunday school teachers. Some are seminary-trained theologians. Others are lay men and women from many different church backgrounds or no organized Christian background at all. They come from all walks of life, including college students, doctors, ministry professionals, housewives and blue-collar workers. They may be your neighbors, co-workers or even your relatives. (Scary, isn't it?!) They are ordinary people who have simply acknowledged that they have polyamorous desires, as do most other people who are unable to admit it to themselves, their partners, their church or their God.
Many of them are mainstream, evangelical Christians, including pastors and their wives, church elders and Sunday school teachers. Some are seminary-trained theologians. Others are lay men and women from many different church backgrounds or no organized Christian background at all. They come from all walks of life, including college students, doctors, ministry professionals, housewives and blue-collar workers. They may be your neighbors, co-workers or even your relatives. (Scary, isn't it?!) They are ordinary people who have simply acknowledged that they have polyamorous desires, as do most other people who are unable to admit it to themselves, their partners, their church or their God.
THE FRUIT
OF THIS MINISTRY
Thousands of people from all parts of the world "hit" our web site weekly. Of the many who contact us, most indicate that they have considered thoughts similar to ours for some period of time, but had no idea that such views could be reconciled with biblical Christianity. Almost invariably, they express their gratitude for finding relief from the conflicts they have experienced between their faith and the inclinations they have had for expanding their loving relationships.
Thousands of people from all parts of the world "hit" our web site weekly. Of the many who contact us, most indicate that they have considered thoughts similar to ours for some period of time, but had no idea that such views could be reconciled with biblical Christianity. Almost invariably, they express their gratitude for finding relief from the conflicts they have experienced between their faith and the inclinations they have had for expanding their loving relationships.
In the more than six years (including the two years
that we have operated the web site) that we have been hearing the
"stories" of those who contact us, becoming regular correspondents
with many and personal friends of some, we have become convinced that there is
a substantial sub-culture of Christian individuals and couples who believe
essentially as we do. Many of these people are from "conservative" or
"evangelical" backgrounds and are desperately looking for fellowship
with those of like mind. It is those people whom we are trying to assist in
their growth toward a peaceful acceptance of the basic goodness of their
sexuality and their polyamorous desires and toward a mature, spiritually sound
practice of the poly lifestyle.
Progressive Christian
The
problem with this view is that it’s not Biblical at all.
Scripture
should be studied in context.And Scripture are to be used in explaining other parts of Scripture
Scripture must be studied as a whole.
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS
Why can't I have a biblically based
family with multiple partners? Most of the great men of the Bible - Abraham,
Jacob, David, Solomon - had many wives. Given your ministry's strong commitment
to the Scriptures, I can't see why you're against things like polygamy and
polyamory. I consider myself a polyamorous Christian. I love several different
women, and there's no reason we can't build a strong family together on a
foundation of consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy. When did the
"change" occur that established marriage as a covenant relationship
between one woman and one man?
There never was any change. God
intended that marriage should work this way from the very beginning: "Then
the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He
brought her to the man. And Adam said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh
of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.'
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:22-24). As these verses show
very clearly, monogamy was inherent to God's plan for humanity from the moment
of creation.
You're correct, of course, to point
out that several of the Old Testament patriarchs and kings had a number of
wives. What you have failed to notice is that the Bible never really condones
this practice. It simply describes it as part of the lifestyle of a
typical ancient Middle-eastern chieftain. The Israelites probably picked up the
custom of polygamy from their pagan neighbors.
If you study these biblical
instances of polygamy in detail, you'll discover that none of them is
portrayed in a positive light. In every case, the practice of keeping multiple
wives results in problems for the king or patriarch in question. In some cases
those problems are very serious indeed. If you doubt this, take a closer look
at the lives of Abraham, Jacob, and David. Solomon is the best known and most
extreme example of this principle. In the end, it was his many wives who led
him into idolatry and destroyed his faith in the Lord.
Add to this the fact that polygamy
had all but disappeared in Israel by the time of Christ. Paul's instructions in
Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3, specifying that deacons and elders must be "the
husband of one wife," probably don't have anything to do with polygamy per
se. Instead, they grow out of a problem that is far more familiar to most
of us as modern Americans: divorce and what has sometimes been called
"serial polygamy." The Romans were notorious for this kind of thing.
It seems that their customs and habits had rubbed off on many of the occupied
peoples of the Empire. This is part of the background for the question about
the resurrection that the Sadducees brought to Jesus in Mark 12:18-27.
But enough of the historical
perspective. Let's get back to the heart of your question. The real issue here
is your claim to be a Christian who "loves several different women"
and who wants to build a "family" on the basis of "responsible
non-monogamy." That's an extremely risky proposition as far as we're
concerned. Do you really believe you can make it work? Along with the biblical
and theological difficulties, your plan has some serious practical, legal, and
logistical flaws. What's more, it raises big questions about your understanding
of the exclusivity of sexual love (which the biblical writers often
use as a symbol for the exclusivity of our relationship with God).
In short, we think it might be a
good idea for you to sit down and have a serious discussion with someone about
the personal motives behind your "polyamorous" designs. With
that in mind, we'd like to invite you to call and speak with one of our Focus
on the Family pastoral counselors. They are available at
this number.
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-q-and-a/relationships-and-marriage/biblical-perspectives-on-polygamy-and-polyamory
What does
the Bible say about polyamory?
By S. Michael
Houdmann, Got Questions
Ministries
The word "polyamory" is a compound of two words: "poly," which is Greek for "many," and "amor," which is Latin for "love." It refers to a relationship in which a person has multiple sexual partners (not necessarily at the same time, i.e., threesomes). A polyamorous relationship is supposedly distinguished from "swinging" by the idea that polyamory involves love while swinging is simply recreational/casual sex.
Polyamory has long been common in dating relationships. Recently, the idea has expanded into "open marriages." An open marriage is a marriage in which one or both spouses are allowed to have extra-marital affairs. After all, if you truly love someone, shouldn't you allow him/her to explore, to follow the desires of his/her heart?
In reality, polyamory is poly-lust-ory. There is nothing "amor" about it. Polyamory is absolutely incompatible with what the Bible says about marital love. Marital love is pure, faithful, committed, and yes, jealous. Just as God is jealous for the worship that only He is worthy of (Exodus 20:5), so should spouses be jealous of the love that should only be given to them. Advocates of polyamory warn against the tendency towards jealousy. Imagine that!
It does not matter if a spouse gives permission or even participates in the polyamorous relationships. We do not get to redefine what the Bible says is sin. The Bible clearly and consistently declares that sex outside of marriage is immoral (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). It is adultery, plain and simple (Exodus 20:14).
There are "scientific" studies claiming that polyamory is genetic. Really?! You think?! "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery" (Galatians 5:19). Of course it is genetic! Sin is hard-wired into our genetic code. We are infected with a desire for all things ungodly and immoral.
It should not surprise us that polyamory is increasingly being accepted in our society. It should not even surprise us that some view polyamory as compatible with marriage. Our society rejects God and His Word, and as a result, there is no authoritative standard for what marriage is. Whether it is gay marriage, polygamy, or polyamory – these are logical results of rejecting the biblical definition of marriage.
What's next? Pedophilia? Acceptance of incest within a family? Bestiality? Some may scoff and claim those perversions will never be accepted, but I hear the same claims coming out of those groups. "We love each other." "It is all consensual, no one is forced to do anything." "Who are you to question who and how I love?"
During the Winter Olympics, an athlete who serves as a youth pastor and is dedicated to his wife and children was described as living an alternative lifestyle. Sadly and disturbingly, traditional marriage is increasingly becoming an alternative lifestyle. But, you know what? I'll take it. It is an alternative to immorality and perversion. It is an alternative to fake love and disrupted intimacy. It is an alternative to the lies and deception with which the god of this world seeks to hide the truth.
"...the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ…" (2 Corinthians 4:4).
http://www.blogos.org/gotquestions/polyamory.
The word "polyamory" is a compound of two words: "poly," which is Greek for "many," and "amor," which is Latin for "love." It refers to a relationship in which a person has multiple sexual partners (not necessarily at the same time, i.e., threesomes). A polyamorous relationship is supposedly distinguished from "swinging" by the idea that polyamory involves love while swinging is simply recreational/casual sex.
Polyamory has long been common in dating relationships. Recently, the idea has expanded into "open marriages." An open marriage is a marriage in which one or both spouses are allowed to have extra-marital affairs. After all, if you truly love someone, shouldn't you allow him/her to explore, to follow the desires of his/her heart?
In reality, polyamory is poly-lust-ory. There is nothing "amor" about it. Polyamory is absolutely incompatible with what the Bible says about marital love. Marital love is pure, faithful, committed, and yes, jealous. Just as God is jealous for the worship that only He is worthy of (Exodus 20:5), so should spouses be jealous of the love that should only be given to them. Advocates of polyamory warn against the tendency towards jealousy. Imagine that!
It does not matter if a spouse gives permission or even participates in the polyamorous relationships. We do not get to redefine what the Bible says is sin. The Bible clearly and consistently declares that sex outside of marriage is immoral (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). It is adultery, plain and simple (Exodus 20:14).
There are "scientific" studies claiming that polyamory is genetic. Really?! You think?! "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery" (Galatians 5:19). Of course it is genetic! Sin is hard-wired into our genetic code. We are infected with a desire for all things ungodly and immoral.
It should not surprise us that polyamory is increasingly being accepted in our society. It should not even surprise us that some view polyamory as compatible with marriage. Our society rejects God and His Word, and as a result, there is no authoritative standard for what marriage is. Whether it is gay marriage, polygamy, or polyamory – these are logical results of rejecting the biblical definition of marriage.
What's next? Pedophilia? Acceptance of incest within a family? Bestiality? Some may scoff and claim those perversions will never be accepted, but I hear the same claims coming out of those groups. "We love each other." "It is all consensual, no one is forced to do anything." "Who are you to question who and how I love?"
During the Winter Olympics, an athlete who serves as a youth pastor and is dedicated to his wife and children was described as living an alternative lifestyle. Sadly and disturbingly, traditional marriage is increasingly becoming an alternative lifestyle. But, you know what? I'll take it. It is an alternative to immorality and perversion. It is an alternative to fake love and disrupted intimacy. It is an alternative to the lies and deception with which the god of this world seeks to hide the truth.
"...the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ…" (2 Corinthians 4:4).
http://www.blogos.org/gotquestions/polyamory.
TOWARD
A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE ON POLYAMORY:
A Conversation Between Rev. Danny Cortez
and Rev. Dr. Jeff Hood
D: I don’t see polyamory spoken of positively at all in scripture.
When polyamory is mentioned, it is not approved or valued.
J: I think we are going to disagree on this. There are multiple
points in the Old Testament were intimate love is shared equally by more than
two people. I see love as the thrust of scripture. Throughout the
scriptures, love being confined to a couple and only shared within that couple
is not the normative construct. In the Old Testament, you have all of
these plural relationships. In the New Testament, we are encouraged to
not get married at all. Despite what evangelicals and fundamentalists
would have us to believe, marriage and family is not the chief end of the
scriptures at all.
D: The polyamorous relationships in the Old Testament are not motivated
by love. These relationships are motivated by money and power. The
polyamorous relationships in the Old Testament seem destructive. The men
function as misogynistic and patriarchal dictators of multiple women.
J: There is no question that the way that polyamory was practiced in the
Old Testament is problematic. When Jesus comes and shows us a new way of
being, I have to wonder if that doesn’t open the world up to new and equal ways
of sharing love. On some level, I think the disciples and Jesus were
involved in some sort of polyamorous relationship. Love seemed to be
pretty free flowing around Jesus.
D: First, I don’t believe the disciples had any type of sexual
relationship with Jesus. Second, Paul makes it clear that marriages are
to be made up of two people. Paul places a premium on singleness and
calls all that are able to remain as such
J: I find Paul’s patriarchal words to be derogatory, demeaning and
dismissive.
D: I get it. It’s like… If you can’t control your body then
go ahead… I don’t think that is what Paul meant to convey. When you
share your self with more than one person, the intimacy factor begins to go
down. Love begins to lesson when it is shared beyond the intimate
partner.
J: I disagree. I think that it is quite possible for love and
intimacy to grow the more that it is shared.
D: How about an analogy? I think the more limited something is the more
valuable it becomes.
J: Would you not say that love is a limited commodity anyways? I
think love is something to embrace with all that we are whenever we find it.
D: It is true that love should be cultivated wherever you find it, but I
am talking about the sexual intimacy part. When I think about my
relationships with people, there are different levels of intimacy that I
embrace with different people…but there is only one person that I am most
intimate with…my wife. There are things that I do with my wife that I don’t
do with anyone else. If I were to expand that, the intimacy would
diminish.
J: I experience deep intimate relationships with persons who are not my
wife. Danny, I would say that our friendship is an intimate relationship
for me. I have been really blessed by knowing you. The more
difficult piece of this is that many polyamorous relationships are situations
where our culture has pushed closeted LGBT people to get married and instead of
getting divorced from someone they have grown to love…some people decide to
bring a third partner into the relationship. This situation is a result
of our oppression. How can lovingly tell these folks that what they are
doing is wrong? Some of these polyamorous relationships come from a
desire to do no harm.
D: I will have to admit that I don’t know anyone in a polyamorous
relationship. I feel like I can only speak from a distant theoretical
understanding. This is a subject that I have little experience with.
J: Would you welcome a polyamorous family into your church?
D: I would receive them without question.
J: Would you bring all three parents or four parents up during a baby
dedication or any other special church service?
D: I have no desire to police the relationships of our people.
J: I am not interested in condemning love. If people have learned
to love each other and not do violence to each other, I just want to let them
be. I love my neighbor as my self by letting them be.
D: I don’t think that scripture gives a robust position on this topic.
J: I don’t think that scripture gives any position on this topic.
D: I don’t think there is enough evidence in scripture to outright
condemn polyamory. I just don’t believe it is the ideal that scripture is
pointing us towards.
J: What about celebrating it? How would you help them to
feel a part of the community?
D: I would invite them into my home. I would treat them the same
as I would a relationship made up of two people. I would respect whatever
they wanted to be called. I would love them.
J: You know we don’t believe in the holy couple. We believe in the
Holy Polyamorous Trinity.
D: Throughout the world, we have spent so much time trying to manipulate
and control people’s relationships. Whatever they look like, we need to
spend more time helping people strengthen their relationships. I do
believe that.
J: I don’t believe that the polyamorous struggle for equality is all
that different from the LGBT struggle for equality. Love is love. I
believe that the people of God must always stand on the side of love.
* Brother D asked me to add this clarification from his
perspective:
So to be clear, even though polygamy was allowed in the OT, I believe
the trajectory of scripture moves us towards monogamy. So when I say, I
wouldn’t police the relationships, I say that in the same way missionaries have
addressed polyamory in other cultures. What I meant is similar to what John
Piper’s stance is in understanding that we need to give grace to people who are
already in these relationships. Piper gives insight into the dilemma
missionaries find themselves in when they encounter polygamy. Do we police the
relationship and force them to divorce? Or do we leave room for grace?
John Piper writes, “When a polygamist is converted what should he do
about his marriages? My inclination is to cut a lot of slack in the mission
field as people move from the first to the second generation. So many things
culturally have to be adjusted to biblical reality. Jesus, I think, clarified
for us that marriage is one man and one woman, as it was in the beginning in
Genesis 2:24. So that the divorce features of Deuteronomy were “given for the
hardness of your heart, but it was not always so. And so now I don’t want you
to do what they were doing.” I think polygamy fits into that same paradigm. God
tolerated polygamy among the patriarchs. He never in the Old Testament
communicated, “Stop doing that,” except by implication from Genesis 2….So I
think you shouldn’t be married to two women today, or a woman to two men. And
yet there are cultures that do it. And so you want to go evangelize those
cultures. And you win them to Christ and now they have two wives. I might say,
“OK, those who have two wives, be faithful to both of them until the next
generation, or until one of them dies. But never do this again.” It’s hard for
me, culturally, to know what the alternatives would be. In a sense I want to
step back and say to the missionaries, I’m so distant from your problem at this
point, that I don’t feel like I should get on a soap box and tell you how to do
this. I want the principle to be clear. Preach to them, “One wife.” Now they
may have a way of figuring that out so that they’re not having two wives
anymore, but I just don’t know enough about the situation.”
I also don’t think describing the trinity as a polyamorous relationship
is helpful since it’s a language that would affirm polyamory. But Jeff, these
are the places we disagree and it’s always good to have dialogue with you.
BIBLE POLYAMORY AN OXYMORON.
When our Lord Christ said we were to love one another He did not grant any license to fornicate far and wide and especially from within a marriage. Anyone who claims to be Christian and at the same time engage in polyamorous pursuits, are doing so without any Scriptural endorsement. On the contrary, they are breaching the very principles of marriage expounded in God's Word from cover to cover. The woman was made for the man who is to provide headship. This headship he can provide for multiple women, thus one man with more than one woman in marriage is acceptable to God. Married men and married women engaging in multiple sexual encounters, whether short, long term or committed, are outside His definition of Biblical Marriage. Any multiple couples all swapping beds but claiming to be polygamous are in fact not, they are adulterers plain and simple. Let me be very clear, any married woman sexing with any other man is committing adultery as is the single or married man sleeping with her.
Deu 22:22 If a man is found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die, the man that lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall put away evil from Israel.
Rom 7:3 So then if, while her husband lives, she is married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulteress by becoming another man's wife.
Biblical Polygamy or Polygyny is not fleshly indulgence in multiple, wife, husband swapping sexual gratifications. It is to be deplored that more and more polyamorous "christians" and non-Christians are linking themselves to polygyny groups and dragging a Biblical ideal into the gutter. It might be time to leave polygamy to the masses and Christians claim the word that truly defines us; polygyny.
http://www.biblepolygamy.com/biblepolyamory.html
Answer: The question of polygamy is an interesting one in that most people today view polygamy as immoral while the Bible nowhere explicitly condemns it. The first instance of polygamy/bigamy in the Bible was that of Lamech in Genesis 4:19: “Lamech married two women.” Several prominent men in the Old Testament were polygamists. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others all had multiple wives. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (essentially wives of a lower status), according to 1 Kings 11:3. What are we to do with these instances of polygamy in the Old Testament? There are three questions that need to be answered: 1) Why did God allow polygamy in the Old Testament? 2) How does God view polygamy today? 3) Why did it change?
1) Why did God allow polygamy in the Old Testament? The Bible does not specifically say why God allowed polygamy. As we speculate about God’s silence, there are a few key factors to consider. First, while there are slightly more male babies than female babies, due to women having longer lifespans, there have always been more women in the world than men. Current statistics show that approximately 50.5 percent of the world population are women. Assuming the same percentages in ancient times, and multiplied by millions of people, there would be tens of thousands more women than men. Second, warfare in ancient times was especially brutal, with an incredibly high rate of fatality. This would have resulted in an even greater percentage of women to men. Third, due to patriarchal societies, it was nearly impossible for an unmarried woman to provide for herself. Women were often uneducated and untrained. Women relied on their fathers, brothers, and husbands for provision and protection. Unmarried women were often subjected to prostitution and slavery. The significant difference between the number of women and men would have left many, many women in an undesirable situation.
So, it seems that God may have allowed polygamy to protect and provide for the women who could not find a husband otherwise. A man would take multiple wives and serve as the provider and protector of all of them. While definitely not ideal, living in a polygamist household was far better than the alternatives: prostitution, slavery, or starvation. In addition to the protection/provision factor, polygamy enabled a much faster expansion of humanity, fulfilling God’s command to “be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth” (Genesis 9:7). Men are capable of impregnating multiple women in the same time period, causing humanity to grow much faster than if each man was only producing one child each year.
2) How does God view polygamy today? Even while allowing polygamy, the Bible presents monogamy as the plan which conforms most closely to God’s ideal for marriage. The Bible says that God’s original intention was for one man to be married to only one woman: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife [not wives], and they will become one flesh [not fleshes]” (Genesis 2:24). While Genesis 2:24 is describing what marriage is, rather than how many people are involved, the consistent use of the singular should be noted. In Deuteronomy 17:14-20, God says that the kings were not supposed to multiply wives (or horses or gold). While this cannot be interpreted as a command that the kings must be monogamous, it can be understood as declaring that having multiple wives causes problems. This can be clearly seen in the life of Solomon (1 Kings 11:3-4).
In the New Testament, 1 Timothy 3:2, 12 and Titus 1:6 give “the husband of one wife” in a list of qualifications for spiritual leadership. There is some debate as to what specifically this qualification means. The phrase could literally be translated “a one-woman man.” Whether or not this phrase is referring exclusively to polygamy, in no sense can a polygamist be considered a “one-woman man.” While these qualifications are specifically for positions of spiritual leadership, they should apply equally to all Christians. Should not all Christians be “above reproach...temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money” (1 Timothy 3:2-4)? If we are called to be holy (1 Peter 1:16), and if these standards are holy for elders and deacons, then they are holy for all.
Ephesians 5:22-33 speaks of the relationship between husbands and wives. When referring to a husband (singular), it always also refers to a wife (singular). “For the husband is the head of the wife [singular] … He who loves his wife [singular] loves himself. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife [singular], and the two will become one flesh....Each one of you also must love his wife [singular] as he loves himself, and the wife [singular] must respect her husband [singular].” While a somewhat parallel passage, Colossians 3:18-19, refers to husbands and wives in the plural, it is clear that Paul is addressing all the husbands and wives among the Colossian believers, not stating that a husband might have multiple wives. In contrast, Ephesians 5:22-33 is specifically describing the marital relationship. If polygamy were allowable, the entire illustration of Christ’s relationship with His body (the church) and the husband-wife relationship falls apart.
3) Why did it change? It is not so much God’s disallowing something He previously allowed as it is God’s restoring marriage to His original plan. Even going back to Adam and Eve, polygamy was not God’s original intent. God seems to have allowed polygamy to solve a problem, but it is not the ideal. In most modern societies, there is absolutely no need for polygamy. In most cultures today, women are able to provide for and protect themselves—removing the only “positive” aspect of polygamy. Further, most modern nations outlaw polygamy. According to Romans 13:1-7, we are to obey the laws the government establishes. The only instance in which disobeying the law is permitted by Scripture is if the law contradicts God’s commands (Acts 5:29). Since God only allows for polygamy, and does not command it, a law prohibiting polygamy should be upheld.
Are there some instances in which the allowance for polygamy would still apply today? Perhaps, but it is unfathomable that there would be no other possible solution. Due to the “one flesh” aspect of marriage, the need for oneness and harmony in marriage, and the lack of any real need for polygamy, it is our firm belief that polygamy does not honor God and is not His design for marriage.
https://www.gotquestions.org/polygamy.html
SUMMARY
The
practical test below shows how complex these relations can be.
WHAT IF YOU WERE/ARE INVOLVED?
Solution – Break
with it and seek counselling.
The real solution
regarding any sinful sexual relationship is found in the Creator of mankind and
in His word, the bible. A Heart changed in the inner-man, by the grace of God
through His Holy Spirit sets you free from bondage.
Consider the
following:
Sex is
like nuclear energy. Within a contained environment (marriage) very useful,
outside disastrous, harmful and dangerous.
The
solution to this disillusioned lifestyle is the Christian gospel. A Gospel of forgiveness
and restoration.
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