SEXUAL SINS OR NOT?
Sex has always played a big role in creation.
Animals act on instinct and thus procreate. Humans are different. Sex has the
purpose of procreation but also of bonding and enjoyment.
When talking about sex, things like marriage,
fornication, adultery, “consenting adults”, “friends with benefits”, “casual
sex”, “swinging”, homosexuality, bi-sexuality”, prostitution, zoophilia, rape,
incest, GSA (Genetic
Sexual Attraction), “avunculate
marriage”, sexbots, etc. come up.
This is not a scientific study on sex and
sexual relationships. We’ll look at general trends, behaviour of people in this
field, and gather info from various sources to get a general picture of what is
going on in the world of sexual relationships.
Sex according to the Bible:
Here I’ll refer to Kerby Anderson
summary:
God
created men and women in His image (Gen. 1:27) as sexual beings. But because of
sin in the world (Rom. 3:23), sex has been misused and abused (Rom. 1:24-25).
A
biblical perspective of human sexuality must recognize that sexual intercourse
is exclusively reserved for marriage for the following purposes. First, it
establishes the one-flesh union (Gen. 2:24-25; Matt. 19:4-6). Second, it
provides for sexual intimacy within the marriage bond. The use of the word
“know” indicates a profound meaning of sexual intercourse (Gen. 4:1). Third,
sexual intercourse is for the mutual pleasure of husband and wife (Prov.
5:18-19). Fourth, sexual intercourse is for procreation (Gen. 1:28).
Sex is very powerful and can be compared to nuclear
energy. Within certain specifications of containment it is very useful, without
the bounds of containment it is very dangerous en even very destruct full and
can cause disasters and lead to death
In the
upcoming “pages” we will look closer at the various types of sexual relations
for example fornication, adultery, prostitution, rape, homosexuality, pornography, sexbots, necrophilia,
etc.
These pages are mainly put together from other
sources, written by various people, on these matters. Credit is given and
sources are quoted.
SOME OF THE INFO MIGHT BE DISTRUBING TO SOME
PEOPLE, BUT THE PURPOSE IS TO PORTRAY WHAT GOING ON IN THE WORLD, JUST AS THE BIBLE IN VARIOUS PLACES ADDRESS
THESE THINGS DIRECTLY.
ADULTERY
DEFINITION
Secular
1. voluntary sexual intercourse between a married
person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. http://www.dictionary.com/browse/adultery
2. Voluntary sexual relations
between an individual who is married and
someone who is not
the individual's spouse or extramarital
sex. http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/adultery
3. Adultery
is defined as sexual relations between a married person and anyone except their
spouse. https://www.aol.co.uk/news/2015/09/10/where-is-adultery-illegal/
Biblical
An adulterer was a man who had illicit
intercourse with a married or a betrothed woman, and such a woman was an
adulteress. Intercourse between a married man and an unmarried woman was
fornication. Adultery was regarded as a great social wrong, as well as a great
sin. http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionaries/eastons-bible-dictionary/adultery.html
GENERAL
Adultery is the cause of many a failed marriage. Various questions can be asked.
1.
Is marriage still important?
Here
I don’t want to discus that, apart from saying:
·
Marriage
portrays commitment
·
If
you are not married and you are in a sexual relationship, then read the page on
Fornication
We’ll address it in this page.
WHY ALL THIS INFORMATION IN THE BLOG? TO SHOW HOW WIDESPREAD THE PROBLEM ARE. THE MAJORITY TEND TO IGNORE IT. BUT WE MUST FACE IT AND STAND AGAINST IT.
South Korea was one of only three
Asian countries to still criminalise adultery, alongside Taiwan and the
Philippines.
Countries governed by Islamic
law, including Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Somalia, all strictly prohibit
"zina", or "fornication outside marriage". Prosecutions are
common and punishment can include fines, arbitrary detention, imprisonment,
flogging and in extreme cases, the death penalty. Women are overwhelmingly
targeted.
Adultery remains illegal in 21
states across the US. The laws "extend back to the Old Testament",
when women were treated as property, the New York Times reports.
In most states, including New
York, cheating on your spouse is considered only a misdemeanour. However, in
others like Idaho, Massachusetts, Michigan, Oklahoma and Wisconsin, it is a
felony crime. Prosecutions are rare, but they do occur and punishments can
range from a $10 fine in Maryland to life imprisonment in Michigan, according
to Mother Jones. http://www.theweek.co.uk/62723/adultery-laws-where-is-cheating-still-illegal
Taiwan's adultery laws are an
anomaly in the region, with the offence punishable by up to a year in prison.
The country's minister of culture Lung Ying-tai has described the laws as
archaic and embarrassing, according to the Asia Sentinel. http://www.theweek.co.uk/62723/adultery-laws-where-is-cheating-still-illegal
EXAMPLES OF
BEHAVIOUR OF PEOPLE
How people change in opinion through the years
OPEN MARRIAGES
A marriage in which both partners agree that each may have sexual
relations with others.
POLYAMORY /SWINGING - The practice of engaging in
multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.
This lifestyle is embrace by many people even in the smallest towns
especially in the western world. It is practised in private homes or in clubs.
If you look at number op clubs advertising and the membership number, then you
see that millions of people are into this lifestyle.
An estimated 130,000 sign
onto swingers site Fab Swingers every day.
A study commissioned back
in 2008 suggested that, even then, there were an estimated one million swingers
in the UK.
By 2011, some estimates put
the number of American swingers at 15 million, 60 per cent of whom said it
improved their relationship. SEVENTY per cent polled said they experienced no
jealousy.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/2645937/what-is-swinging-wife-swapping-fab-swingers-sex/
Books and novels to promote swinging are written.
Movies are made
Documentaries
produced
Even so-called Christians have joined in the party
“SWINGING CHRISTIANS”
Here is one couple’s story
Dean and Christy Parave truly believe that swinging help them in
spreading the word of God. Swinging (sexual practice) is an arrangement in
which partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with
others.
Now mum-of-three Christy studies the Bible with husband of seven years, Dean, 50, but also indulges in extra-marital sex with her hubby’s consent. They also created the website, FitnessSwingers.com to regularly enjoy changing partners with other couples.
Cristy said: “I don’t think God would be mad at what we are doing –
at first I was conflicted but the more we looked at it the more it makes sense
to us.
Dean and I are both in agreement with this lifestyle, so we’re not
committing adultery.
God put people on the earth to breed and enjoy each other – I feel
God is always with me and he has put us here for a reason.” https://answeringchristian.wordpress.com/tag/wife-swapping/
A Warning to Christians
A
new dating website called CHRISTIANS wingers is sending ripples throughout the
Christian community for offering "faithful couples" the opportunity
to "hookup" with each other. One mental health professional warns the
practice will lead to nothing but "pain."
Having
been to seminary as well as being trained as a licensed mental health
counselor, and as a Christian, it is unbiblical, it is sinful," Nielsen
told The Christian Post on Thursday.
"God doesn't stop loving anyone, but it is not a behavior that is in anyway appropriate for Christians or for anyone else. It's just not. I feel sad for the people who are involved in it. I have never seen it result in anything but pain in a marriage," she noted. "It is not something that can be endorsed in a Christian context at all."
Open marriage,
swinging, wife swapping, polyamore Christians?
It was surprising to find out that a family friend who attended church revealed that she and her husband believed in an open marriage. She said that according to John 3:16 that she accepted Jesus and "Regardless of how much I break those rules, Jesus will take care of me." Okay, so Jesus is cool with adultery? Not likely. This was a shock because this is a no-no in the Christian world, right? But so was the Ashley Madison website, which made waves through the Christian community. You might recall them, they encouraged people to have an affair because it would enrich the relationship. There were believers who also visited the hookup site. Not all Christians are on board with this belief, however, and thank goodness. Christiannews.com reported that the subscribers of the Ladies Who Love the Lord Facebook fan page were asked: "Is outsourcing intimacy in a marriage is considered adultery, even if it’s an amicable agreement between the couple?" The participants were asked to back up their beliefs with Scripture and most respondents agreed that this was an act of adultery. For those who support open relationships, stay fastened.
WIFE SWAPPING – The same as polyamory/swinging, but mainly only with certain couple or couples, with the consent of all involved.
Sometimes
in the news
Telling yourself that it’s only recreational, or adult fun is
fooling yourself. Yes, you’ll wake up the next day, yet your marriage will be
changed. That special bond only you two shared is GONE.
Second,
not only are their effects, they aren’t reversible. You can not undo what has
been done. You can learn ways of living with it or moving past it, but it can’t
be undone.
Although you can treat STD’s and use the abortion option, these
actions don’t undo anything. They cover up the effects, but don’t undo them.
You can unsee what has already transpired.
Third, the
effects are multi-dimensional. They occur across a wide swath of areas and they
occur on many levels.
The effects impact marriages on an individual level and at the
family of origin and societal level of functioning. Trying to diminish the effects
by claiming that it was just ‘consenting adults’ having fun is putting blinders
on what’s actually happening.
There are the external effects and the internal effects.
Externally, there is increased exposure to sexually transmitted diseases and
foreign bacteria.
Even when the people you’re swapping wives with are ‘clean’, you
are assuming they are telling you the truth and assuming that the bacteria and
organisms in their body are risks you are willing to expose yourself and your
spouse to. Those other wives may not be as clean as yours is.
This is one reason behind the ‘infections’ that often happen
afterwards. You may have never made the connection. From this point on, pay
attention to when infections flare up and swapping play times.
Let me spell this out the health issues. Those in non-monogamous
relationships have been found to have shorter lives, take longer to recover
from illnesses, and are unhealthier than their monogamous counter parts (per
John Gottman).
When your swinging includes people who test limits, they’ll test
limits in sexual activities as well. You may set limits, but that doesn’t mean
that limit testers will respect them or follow them.
They’ll also test limits on ‘protection’ and protective practices.
It’s not uncommon for them to ‘intentionally on purpose’ not use protection.
They may also ‘accidentally’ let the condom slip off (aka ‘stealthing‘) or get
rougher than you agreed to.
Fourthly,
there are the bonding issues,
which I addressed in a previous post. What I can tell you is that researchers
studying the many dimensions of human bonding are only now beginning to
understand that it is not just chemical, but also electrical and possibly
magnetic in nature.
This means bonding is much more than just the release of the
neurochemical, dopamine. With the creation of new connections and their
activation, there are changes in who you desire and the intensity of your
desire.
Bonding changes how you feel about your spouse and swing partners.
Swinging changes you, physically and emotionally. It changes you down to the
molecular level.
The bonding changes how you think, what you feel, what you
remember and how you process new information. The experience rewires your brain
and your emotions.
Spiritually oriented people have discussed personal magnetic
fields for years and how sleeping around weakens those personal magnetic
fields. Although you don’t see it, the people you are with changes the energy
fields around you.
Researchers are finding that magnetic
fields influence biological processes like sleeping, so it would not be far
fetched to say they influence bonding as well. I have not personally researched
this area, yet I can not dismiss its influence as negligible either.
When science is unable to explain bonding and all the chemicals
involved, what’s the likelihood that some swingers expert knows more than the
researchers do?
They may base their knowledge on their social experiences, but
that doesn’t mean that they fully understand the effects of creating new bonds
and disrupting old ones has on people physically or psychologically.
Then you have to consider the social
effects. Wife swapping changes your social atom. It changes the whole
nature of the relationships and the people you associate with.
It can also become a source of alienation between you and other family members. You have to
consider who knows and who you do not want to know.
When you have to be concerned with such matters, it does not pass
what my brother-in-law calls the “sniff” test. If it doesn’t smell right, then
it’s likely not something you want to be doing.
Having to keep secrets along with tracking who is “in” and who is
“out” of your social atom, along with having to be careful about who know what
does not pass my own sniff test. Having a secret
life that has to remain hidden is not a hallmark of healthy human
relationships to me.
Internally, there are issues concerning guilt or buyer’s remorse.
I saw this very plain when I talked with Rachel
about her ‘swinging’ experiences. She often made sure that she was drunk
before ‘playtime’. The room where relations occur are even frequently
referred to as “playgrounds” or “playpens”.
Numbing her conscience was the only way Rachel could swing. Whenever
possible, she limited her play to same sex. She felt like it was a betrayal to
her husband and her marriage vows when it came time to be with other men.
Swinging for her became an emotional nightmare.
She loved her husband, and didn’t want to loose him. For her, wife
swapping was about keeping her husband and making him happy. His happiness
became her new standard.
Rather than look at what she was doing in terms of right and
wrong, she viewed all she was doing in terms of whether or not it pleased her
husband. Pleasing him became her new moral standard.
When he approached her about having a website filled with her
photos and short videos, she consented, thinking it would improve their
marriage. About all the photos and videos did was to make money for him.
Over time the nude photos and videos became a source of shame that
she often had to hope that people did not find. She never intended for the wife
swapping to go that far, but…it made him happy.
Having to make sure that you are numbed out in order to wife swap
does not sound healthy or wholesome or natural to me. Neither does being
exploited in pictures and videos. Rachel was tired of this way of living and
the toll it took on her.
The increased sexual activity will lead to the desire for more. Your
sex life will change. Part of the change is that you no longer desire the
exclusivity of your spouse, you want others as well.
The increased sex drive changes the way you’ll look at members of the opposite sex. You’ll view them as sex objects first, then as people. You will also be more attuned to sexual vibes.
The tuning into sexual vibes often leads to impulsive sexual
decisions. You may find yourself having sex behind your spouse’s back.
This takes me back to the question I asked at first, “What effects
are willing to accept?” You have to consider how far you are willing to go,
because once the wife swapping starts, it will take you deeper and further into
the darkness than you had planned to go.
If you’re struggling with the effects from swinging you may be experiencing relationship trauma. You don’t have to get drunk, take pills or medications to numb yourself out, and keep symptoms under control.
When you have been traumatized,
there are reasons for you not being able to ‘get over it’ and bounce back.
When you are ready to do something about changing a swinger
lifestyle and recovering from it, my video “Overcoming Relationship Trauma for Swingers“.
Provides you with the tools, exercises and techniques you need in understanding
and moving past what has happened to you.
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS
2. "What does
the Bible say about an open marriage, polyamory /swinging?"
Answer: An open marriage is generally defined as a marriage in which one or both spouses are allowed by the other spouse to have sex with other people. The two primary types of open marriages are polyamory and swinging. Polyamory is when the extra-marital affairs purportedly involve emotional love. Swinging is when the extra-marital affairs only involve recreational/casual sex.
Answer: An open marriage is generally defined as a marriage in which one or both spouses are allowed by the other spouse to have sex with other people. The two primary types of open marriages are polyamory and swinging. Polyamory is when the extra-marital affairs purportedly involve emotional love. Swinging is when the extra-marital affairs only involve recreational/casual sex.
No, the Bible nowhere explicitly addresses polyamory, swinging,
or the idea of an open marriage. The idea that one spouse should consent to the
other spouse having sex with other people is absolutely foreign to the Bible.
The Bible speaks of sex within marriage as pure (Hebrews 13:4). The Bible speaks of sex
outside of marriage as immoral and adulterous (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18; 10:8; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).
The question is sometimes raised as to whether a polyamorous relationship should be considered adultery if the other spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. The answer is an unequivocal yes! God is the one who defines what marriage is and what adultery is. God, in His Word, has declared sex outside of marriage to be adultery (Exodus 20:14). A spouse’s giving permission to sin does not overrule God’s Law. We do not have the authority to create exceptions to what God has declared to be sinful.
Aside from the biblical declarations that they are sin, polyamorous relationships cannot fulfill what the Bible says a marriage is to be. A married couple cannot be “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) if multiple “fleshes” are involved. A married couple cannot fully love one another if that love is divided among other people. There cannot be true intimacy if what is supposed to be intimate is shared with others. Polyamory is not marriage. In no sense is a marriage supposed to be open to sexual activity outside of the marriage.
Polyamory is, in reality, “poly-lust-ory.” There is nothing loving about it. This perversion of marriage is confirmation that “every intention of the thoughts of our hearts is only evil continually,” and that, without God, “everyone does what is right in his own eyes” (see Genesis 6:5 and Judges 21:25).
The question is sometimes raised as to whether a polyamorous relationship should be considered adultery if the other spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. The answer is an unequivocal yes! God is the one who defines what marriage is and what adultery is. God, in His Word, has declared sex outside of marriage to be adultery (Exodus 20:14). A spouse’s giving permission to sin does not overrule God’s Law. We do not have the authority to create exceptions to what God has declared to be sinful.
Aside from the biblical declarations that they are sin, polyamorous relationships cannot fulfill what the Bible says a marriage is to be. A married couple cannot be “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) if multiple “fleshes” are involved. A married couple cannot fully love one another if that love is divided among other people. There cannot be true intimacy if what is supposed to be intimate is shared with others. Polyamory is not marriage. In no sense is a marriage supposed to be open to sexual activity outside of the marriage.
Polyamory is, in reality, “poly-lust-ory.” There is nothing loving about it. This perversion of marriage is confirmation that “every intention of the thoughts of our hearts is only evil continually,” and that, without God, “everyone does what is right in his own eyes” (see Genesis 6:5 and Judges 21:25).
We
bend Scriptures to meet our needs.
People misquote Scriptures and bend it to meet their own desires.
Adultery defiles the marriage, according to the Bible. You shall not commit
adultery. This is not limited to sex outside of marriage. God commands us to abstain
from all sexual immorality, including premarital sex, homosexuality, incest,
voyeurism, bestiality and public nudity. But like with anything else we want to
justify our actions to ease our minds and perhaps trick our souls as well. As
Christians, we can't be the proverbial ostriches burying our heads in the sand
and excuse this as a standard.
It's
not part of God's plan.
Do you both view sexual acts as part of becoming one flesh? If you
don't this could be the reason you feel that having an open marriage is fine.
God established the one flesh relationship. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a
"Man will leave his family, join to his wife, and become one flesh with
her." Marriage and sex are intended to be part of God's perfect plan. When
we step out to have multiple sex partners, we damage our spirit and maybe our
health. Sex binds people together physically, emotionally and spiritually. Mark
10:9 also confirmed that when people are joined together that it is a powerful
force. "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has
joined together, let man not separate.”
It's
a sin.
Ephesians 5:3 is pretty straightforward
about sexual immorality. “But among you, there must not be even a hint of
sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are
improper for God's holy people." One definition of sexual immorality is
sex with someone who is not your spouse. Another term for this behavior is
adultery. You can call it "swinging" or having an "open marriage,"
but it is a sin according to the Bible. When people make excuses for the act,
it may make them feel better at the time, but they know in their hearts that
sex outside of the marriage is damaging.
People
are deceived.
TV shows and websites love to glamorize sex outside of marriage.
Many people think as long as they aren’t physically touching someone other than
their spouse, they are not being unfaithful. But the more you commit visual
adultery, the more likely you are to end up engaging in an open marriage. Jesus
said, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her
hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Not many today
preach on sin and the consequences of our actions because this would reduce
revenues streams for the church. Because we are not open to hearing our own
faults and sins, we are being deceived.
People don't guard their hearts.
Webster’s Dictionary defines adultery as “Voluntary sexual
intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a
married woman and someone other than her husband.” Satan wants us to become out
of balance so we drift further away from God and His mission. As recorded in
Romans 10:17: “Satan immediately comes and takes away the word which was sown
in them.” We need to also pay attention on how the devil uses conditions to
trick us, even if it seems like it's inoffensive.
It's
selfish.
Let's get honest and admit consenting to adultery and calling it
"an open marriage" is self-centered and parsimonious. You don't have
to be a believer figure this out. Author Jessica Burke said sex is important to
marriage "But good sex does not make a good marriage. Good sex is the
result of a good marriage. Sex is unique because of the way it bonds two people
together physically in a vulnerable and intimate way." She was right, sex
is part of the relationship, but it is not the only critical element. What
about fidelity? Isn't this important? We can't just mold marriage into what we
demand it to be. "If we redefine marriage, we redefine family. Everything
that broadens the definition of marriage and family into nothingness takes us a
little closer to eliminating the foundation so significant to our
existence," she added.
Slap whatever label you want on it, friend, but an open marriage is a sin and it doesn't matter how many Scriptures you erroneously try to back it up with. Pray and allow the Lord to minister to your heart.
Slap whatever label you want on it, friend, but an open marriage is a sin and it doesn't matter how many Scriptures you erroneously try to back it up with. Pray and allow the Lord to minister to your heart.
SUMMARY
Adultery
is part of human nature (a sinful nature). Everyone is seceptable to it.
SOLUTION
Your heart must be changed,
because Scripture (The bible) says:
Mark 7:21-23
For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries,
fornications, murders,22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit,
lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness 23 All these evil
things come from within, and defile the man.
The
solution to this disillusioned lifestyle is the Christian gospel. A Gospel of
forgiveness and restoration.
ALL OF US ARE SINNERS
ALL OF US MUST GO TO AN ETERNAL HELL
CHRIST PAID THE PRICE FOR OUR SINS
WE MUST BELIEVE AND CONFESS TO BE SAVED
IF YOU CALL YOU’LL BE SAVED
Copyright and
corrections:
I am not aware of any
copy right on any pictures or content used in this blog. If so, please inform
me and it shall be removed. (Where used credit is given)
Please inform me f there are any corrections to be made.
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